Ah, Big Ron. Where would we be without your slightly frightening bastardisation of the English language. The man who once said “Denilson’s given it about twenty lollipops [stepovers], Clive” is on a personal mission to infect the Enlgish language from the inside. And, listening to Andy Gray, it appears to be working. The Rosetta Stone of Big Ron’s “unique” commentary style is the excellent Ronglish.com. There you can learn that little eyebrows is a reference to a back header, often in the form of a near-post flick on from a corner.
This blog isn’t about the art of the back header however, despite the title. No, this is more about the literal (and understandable) use of term “little eyebrows”. As mentioned over at therealfacup, something is afoot with the eyebrows in South Africa. David Beckham appears to have had his right eyebrow surgically stapled into a permanently surprised position. Perhaps he wants to be the next James Bond?
They’ve long been noted for jumping up and down like House of Pain are in the hizouse (eventually spawning a pinball game), but Alan Hansen’s eyebrows appear to have taken on a new form. It looks as though someone has been over zealous with the tweezers. My guess is Adrian Chiles has been creeping around his ex-employers looking for some retribution. After all, the two hate each other.
People are worried about the crime levels in South Africa. Is it so bad that people are running around stealing eyebrows? Where else could John Motson’s eyebrows have gone? Was he stuck in a traffic jam in Cape Town when robbers smashed his car window, leaned in and made off with his eyebrows? What is the street value of half a gram of Motson’s eyebrows these days anyway?
And what of the horror show of Lee Dixon’s eyebrows? Did the BBC’s punditry team get up to high jinx and mad capers on a night out on the town, endingwith madcap Alan Shearer shaving Dixon’s off while he slept off a few too many Castle Lagers?
Has anybody seen any other examples of strange and wonderful eyebrows? Let me know and I’ll set up an Eyebrow Watch feature.